A good evening

There are a few things that usually help me to get a more positive outlook on life: Singing, good friends, good food, exercise. Had it all tonight. Sang Mass in B Minor by J.S. Bach, met friends T and F, ate minced lamb with hummus (Egyptian cuisine), rode my bike to the concert - well, that doesn't really count. Anyway. I love my friends. I'm tired. Will sleep now.

Whose responsibility?

I'm in a mess right now. My dear room-mate wants to move out. So it's his fault I'm feeling sad and confused and lost! "Please, stay here, you are responsible for my emotional well-being!" Haha.

I actually should be thankful for his new plans. They just plainly show me how needy I am. I know I need to independently live my life the way I want it to be. But that is the crux of that matter - I don't know what I want. Well, I do have some fantasies, but I have no idea how I could possibly make them real. These fantasies don't even seem exorbitant - a husband, a couple of children, a small house with a garden. It's just the ordinary, but - in my imagination - unattainable for me.
Because I feel so uncapable to reach these big goals, I feel no drive to take any smaller steps to alter my current situation.

I know I have to change my All-or-Nothing attitude. I know that small steps will eventually lead me to a state I want to be in. Somehow I have to nourish the little hope inside of me, that one day, I'll find contentment.

Seriously, why blogging?

Not much is actually happening in my life right now, but there's a lot going on inside of me. I hope this little space in the www helps me to put my thoughts in order. Although I am highly introverted, it strangely appeals to me to make my thoughts and emotions public, while I stay anonymous (at least so I hope :-).

I love reading blogs because I can learn so much from other people's life experience. So I wonder if this little blog can be of use to someone else. I still feel so young, though, and I've always been on the listening side. But maybe I'll just for once leave the accustomed manner, and try to feel like I have actually something to say.

Hello World!

I got in touch with the parenting blog world in 2005, and have been continuously writing posts in my head ever since.

This blog is a first try to put them out of my head for the world to see. I’m a little shy about that.

Actually, I don’t know if anyone could be interested in the things I have to say, cause there’s not much going on in my life. I don’t have children, I don’t have a partner, I don’t have a job. I’ll write about why that is, what I think about my situation, and my attemps to change it.

English isn’t my first language, so this is also an opportunity to increase my English writing skills and my vocabulary. I am a German living in Germany.